I don't get it

No, this year I have really no idea what I have set out to do.

• Year One: started as semi-auto-biography, only slowly getting brave enough to make stuff up, and end up with more fiction than fact
• Year Two: deliberately set out to break down into chapters, make everything up, not base characters on friends, or events on my experiences, etc
• Year Three: began to fall apart (thinking too much) and although I have several sections I enjoyed writing it never totally shaped up, and I have never re-written it (so much of it needs cutting)
• Script Frenzy: broke the pattern, having to write a 100 page script in a month - and I enjoyed it, plotted it, tried to give it structure and tension, etc.
• This year's NaNo will not get going. It seems so abstract. If this falls into the category of a 'novel' we might have to stretch the definition in all directions, from Tristram Shandy to Naked Lunch. I could do with, at least, a few 'routines' - and I could certainly attempt to use the self-referential, if it isn't going to go away. (sigh) Just keeping the word count up, and gagging and hoodwinking the inner critic...

Staggering along, but not yet despairing. Maybe this year I will dive into the forums (fora?) and ask for help.

Help!